October 21, 2017
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Time to Reflect

May 31st, 2011 by judytalks

My quiet time has been a staple in my life for many years. Setting aside a designated time and place for unwinding and reflecting on what’s happening is food for my soul, and as necessary as food for the body. When I start to neglect it, I begin to starve.

May has always seemed to be the busiest month of the year, and this May has been no different. Commitments to wrap up, plans to make, problems to wrangle with and just daily living got me off my routine. And somehow when I neglect myself, I also lose track of the important people in my life. I disconnect.

I have a firm belief that we are all connected to one another in some way, but especially to those people we love. A disconnection has to be remedied immediately.

Reinstating my quiet time has restored my balance and allowed me to get back on track. My fuzzy focus is gone and I am prioritizing the things I really value.

My commitment to comfort and the grieving community is taking a new but solid approach with writing ideas and a positive spirit. My work with New Song has been uplifting and my plans for reaching more people are taking shape.

My mind works better when I clear out the cobwebs and delete the junk mail I’ve accumulated. Here’s to a better brain.

Judy

Making the Hard Choices

May 23rd, 2011 by judytalks

Changes in life can be by choice or by accident. The accidental ones are the hardest because there is no time for prior thought or preparation. Having to shift gears suddenly catches you unawares, and leaves you without some of the basic necessities in your life – no job, no house, no finances, and shifting gears is the last thing you want to do.

The feeling of desperation that accompanies loss makes it difficult to even think straight. The good news is that loss really is a new beginning.

In the past few years, I’ve seen friends and family members start over with amazing results. Dreaming new dreams, realizing creative efforts and nurturing those dreams has brought about a new lease on life, sometimes replacing what was lost with something so much better.

Yes, it’s hard to see opportunity when you are devastated, fearful, and emotionally drained. The first hurdle is accepting that you are your own best support system. A new business or career usually means you have to change your life stlye, often for a long time, maybe permanently. But seeing dreams materialize more than compensates.

As I said in my last post, loss has become a household word. It’s time we took the bull by the horns and made gain our word of choice. No more tears, no more defeat.

My best,
Judy

The Lessons of Loss

May 18th, 2011 by judytalks

The past few years have made loss a household word. The pain of losing homes, jobs, funds, along with our self esteem and sense of place in the world is grievous. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been a victim. When everyone is struggling just to maintain basic necessities, it’s hard to find anyone who can help.

The truth is, though, that when everyone is experiencing the same calamity, there is support that yields hope and a sense of connecting.

It’s pointless to ask who did this to us. The real question is, “What will rise out of the ashes?”

Within my own family, friends and neighbors I see despair, anger, sadness, but also a determined drive not to be defeated. A new set of values is emerging, a fresh look at the word “career”, and a relaxed attitude toward self concept and who decides what and where our place is in the world.

I have a renewed sense of confidence that younger people will reinvent this socioeconomic construct in which we live, and it will be inclusive, open ended, and fluid. Though I’m a grandmother, I have every intention of sticking around to see it happen, if it takes a hundred years.

As always,
Judy

Comfort When You Need It Most

May 10th, 2011 by judytalks

Mother’s Day was last Sunday, a holiday I used to share with the opening day of fishing when I lived in Minnesota. My late husband was an avid fisherman and, as we had a cabin on a lake, itched to start fishing every year. Whoever declared Opening Day of Fishing to fall on the same day as Mother’s Day is beyond me, but I usually told him to “just go, have fun, and bring home dinner.”

He’s been gone for twenty years, but I still have a hard time thinking of how to celebrate being a mother on the first Saturday in May, so this year we spent the day putting on our solar screens. I live in Arizona now and it seemed like the right time.

Sometimes things just present themselves at an opportune time and it seems wise to go along with it. My last post mentioned my endeavor to maintain balance in my work and my life. It’s slowly taking shape and I’m relaxing with a more focused view and more realistic approach to what is truly meaningful and how to best help others with their grief and loss needs.

I discovered a good website for posting short papers (and other writings) and have begun a series of papers that address the troublesome aspects of loss and healing. If you are in need today, or know someone who is, please check out my first paper on www.scribd.com and look for The Deep Impact of Loss. It’s a simple, clear guide, written from experience.

I wish you well.

Judy

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