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More Tips – Being Consistent

June 26th, 2013 by judytalks

Kids live in the moment.They hardly ever think about tomorrow. That’s why parents learn to never tell kids about an upcoming summer vacation in March. They’ll ask every single day if it’s summer yet. Even as kids get older, they focus mostly on what’s happening right now, something we should learn to do.


Helping a child through mourning means spending time together, talking, going places they enjoy, and putting tangible memories in a treasure chest for safe keeping. Setting aside time to spend with a child is a promise to honor. The child will look forward to that day and time, will prepare, and eagerly await for your arrival. This helps the child to begin to move forward and build a new relationship and add new activities to a life that has seemed to stand still. Whether these “dates” are every week, or every other day, consistency is paramount. To disappoint a child is grievous to both. If you have to re-schedule, do so as soon as possible, and chat a little when you call.


Children await guidance and direction from us, the adults they trust to help them to learn and grow. They listen and they model after what they observe. If we’re too casual about our promises, they’ll feel abandoned and devalued. Especially at a time when  grief and loss accompany them all day, everyday, they’ll cherish the times you set aside just for them. And you’ll reap rewards galore, because you will become one of their heroes.




Tips for Connecting with Kids

June 15th, 2013 by judytalks

Kids love to connect with adults. Adults sometimes have no idea how to connect with kids, even though they once were a kid. Whether this child is your own, a member of the extended family, or is in your life in some other capacity, connecting isn’t rocket science.

Tell the child something about yourself. Kids really want to get to know you.Then ask a question. And listen to the child’s response carefully. How they answer often says more than what they say. Is there enthusiasm in their voice, do they sound persuasive, are you being asked for an opinion?

Getting to know how a child expresses him/herself reaps rewards down the road. If this child should encounter a problem, or suffer a loss, you’ll be more in tune with the child’s emotions, and better able to give support. Children can’t always articulate what they feel, but they show it in their tone of voice and their physical demeanor.

If you want to remain in this child’s life – and reap all the benefits of being their friend – just spend time and listen. They’ll tell you everything about themselves eventually, and being a child’s friend is a special privilege.

Take a child on a nature walk and collect some bugs. It’s great fun!


How to Help A Grieving Child

June 6th, 2013 by judytalks

Everyone wants to give comfort and support to those we know who have lost a loved one, regardless of their age. Knowing how to help a child is often difficult, because the child can’t always express the hurt and confusion they feel.

I feel privileged to be able to bring relevant information to you on a radio network that is dedicated to the needs of children. I will be discussing important aspects of connecting, comforting, and supporting children in mourning, with practical ideas that work.

My interview is scheduled for Monday, June 10, 2013 at 10:30 CST. Dr. James Sutton, psychologist and host, will be talking with me, so please check out the website, www.thechangingbehaviornetwork.com to see when you can hear the interview. A copy of my book, A Child’s Grief Surviving the Death of a Parent, will be given away in a drawing, and I’ll be offering a free PDF Booklet on the subject of SeniorCare.

I would be pleased to have you listen to the interview. When adults connect with a grieving child, the healing process can follow.

Kindest regards,

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