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Recovery – Acknowledgement

June 9th, 2012 by judytalks

Whenever I Google the word Recovery I get websites about ships at the bottom of the ocean or addiction programs for rehab. The kind of recovery I write and talk about has to do with the loss of someone or something dear to you. It’s something irreplaceable that causes you deep grief and sadness.
When you lose something that can’t be replaced, there’s more than sadness. The range of emotions runs from anger and confusion to a sense that you’ve lost yourself. Nothing is the same, nor will it ever be.
Recovery takes time and it requires a choice on your part. The beginning of healing is the acknowledgement that life can and must go on. Until you reach that point, you may remain in a state of isolation from other things and people who were dear to you. Reconnecting is also painful, because it seems that you must let go of the person or thing you have lost. But, in reality, you take it with you, forever a keepsake you may revisit any time.

I wish you well,

Judy

Who Moved My Money?

August 11th, 2011 by judytalks

Have you planted your vegetable garden yet? Cancelled everything you don’t absolutely need? How are you coping with this roller coaster economy?

The subjects I write about are grief, loss, and recovery, but my focus is usually loss of a loved one, not financial disaster. Our money resources represent hard work, diligence in spending/saving, and security for the future. How dare someone take that away?

I realize this situation didn’t happen overnight. Nevertheless, it leaves me fearful, angry, and shaking my head.

What’s the best way to mourn the loss of a secure future? All loss has to be acknowledged, thought out in terms of exactly what is gone, and managed day by day as healing takes place. Putting things in place to alleviate fear is sensible and workable. Putting things in perspective is also good for a balanced view.

Most of us, myself included, have had money worries before and we’ll have them again. Coping with any loss takes action, courage, and, at best, support from others. Now’s the time to reach out to others and see who’s reaching out to you. I plan to re-establish a secure financial future for myself. I may even grow vegetables.

Happy digging,
Judy

The Lessons of Loss

May 18th, 2011 by judytalks

The past few years have made loss a household word. The pain of losing homes, jobs, funds, along with our self esteem and sense of place in the world is grievous. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been a victim. When everyone is struggling just to maintain basic necessities, it’s hard to find anyone who can help.

The truth is, though, that when everyone is experiencing the same calamity, there is support that yields hope and a sense of connecting.

It’s pointless to ask who did this to us. The real question is, “What will rise out of the ashes?”

Within my own family, friends and neighbors I see despair, anger, sadness, but also a determined drive not to be defeated. A new set of values is emerging, a fresh look at the word “career”, and a relaxed attitude toward self concept and who decides what and where our place is in the world.

I have a renewed sense of confidence that younger people will reinvent this socioeconomic construct in which we live, and it will be inclusive, open ended, and fluid. Though I’m a grandmother, I have every intention of sticking around to see it happen, if it takes a hundred years.

As always,
Judy

A Sober Look at the Faces of Death

January 9th, 2011 by judytalks

The New Year has begun and my goals and plans are made for new business ventures and writing opportunities. I decided to blog today because I had neglected this enjoyable way of communicating, as busyness crowded my time during the holidays. Christmas, for me, is filled with joy and happiness that comes from the closeness of family and friends.

I signed on to the internet and, there, in bold headlines was the shocking news of a shooting in Tucson, in which a congresswoman had been shot in the head. In all, 18 people were hit, 6 were dead, and the gunman apprehended.

I don’t report news of this kind, as a rule. I tell people of the sadness and despair that follows the death of a loved one, regardless of the circumstances. My concern and expertise are tied to emotional upheaval and the need to put a loved one to rest. Comfort and healing are the necessary ingredients for survivors when a life is lost.

As I listened to the news reports, the tears came and a deep feeling of sadness enveloped me. My childhood was spent in a small town, and at a time, when shootings, street violence, and random killings were not frequent occasions. The people who lost loved ones today will need support and comfort for a long time. Those who were injured may be traumatized for many years.

Regardless of how a death occurs, there are warm, loving, and effective means for helping the bereaved.
Listen.
Affirm their feelings.
Spend time with them, preferably in person, but otherwise, by phone.
Assure them that you care and can be counted on for support.
Plan short activities out and about that are relaxing.

My personal goal for 2011 is to stay strong and give more.
My business goal for 2011 is to learn more and reach more.

Here goes, New Year!
Cheers to everyone.
Judy

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