October 27, 2021
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Connecting for Comfort and Healing

April 29th, 2010 by judytalks

Connecting with another person, for any reason, is a considered choice. It requires a deep commitment and consistent interaction. When one chooses to connect with a grieving child, there is usually considerable soul searching before the choice is made.
A grieving child is fearful, feels abandoned, and has many unanswered questions. To accept the task of dealing with these issues, a caring adult will need to devote quantity, as well as quality time to this endeavor.
A distinction must be made between touching base and real connecting. Touching base is checking in occasionally, and it’s important. But connecting is deeper, more consistent, and involves ongoing dialogue.
True comfort will only take place when you are dependable and attentive. Regularly scheduled visits, outings, and talks will give a foundation of security and trust, two values that help allay the feeling of abandonment. Dialogue invites the child to express her fears and verbalize the questions and confusion that continually occupy her mind. For a connection to lead to real healing, there must be support and stability in the early stages of loss, followed by guidance and reassurance throughout the mourning period.
A wounded child will not heal until he feels safe. His shattered world view must be reconstructed before the pain and bewilderment goes away, and leaves him feeling rested and at peace. This will not happen in a matter of weeks or even months. But once a foundation of trust is established, and a brighter, happier view of the world is realized, this wounded child will relax and adopt a more optimistic outlook on life.
Can we make such a commitment to a child we know and love? It really isn’t complicated. It simply requires making that considered choice, based on the facts. Children are our most valuable citizens.
Healthy, happy children everywhere.

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