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From Deepest Pain to Gratitude

April 22nd, 2015 by judytalks

The shock of immediate loss brings deep, relentless pain for which there is no solace. The comfort and support of friends and family gives only temporary relief, and then the sharp pangs of loss and sadness begin all over.

In the beginning, it’s impossible to even imagine that one day there will be a sliver of gratitude in this awfulness. For what could you possibly be grateful?

Healing begins in both the heart and the mind. The idea of being without that necessary person is unthinkable. The outpouring of love and devotion from one heart to another stops for lack of a destination.

You are alone, overwhelmed with the knowledge that someone you love is physically gone, and yet seems so very present in your life. How do you hold on to that comforting sense of presence, when your mind assures you that it simply isn’t true?

A quiet time each day allows you to remember all the emotions, each important event, the everyday conversations, and the unspoken bond that ties you together. Writing down whatever you wish – memories, feelings, future plans, and special times that only you two shared – becomes the foundation of gratitude.

Each part became a measure of support in your life together, and the sum total of all parts is the whole relationship you created. This can’t be destroyed. It remains a part of who you are. For this, you can be grateful.

Have a quiet time every day. Structure it any way you like. Remember to include one thoughtful and heart-warming gratitude for who you are because of that incredible person, whose face you can see and whose laughter you can hear.

You’ll know you are healing when the pain begins to subside and you can smile when you think of your loved one.

I wish you well,

Judy

Grief Lasts a Lifetime

August 18th, 2014 by judytalks

Understanding the critical aspects is essential for healing and moving forward. You do not get over grief, you come to terms with it. I want to share with you some meaningful tips that will help you as you learn to turn sorrow into gratitude. These heartfelt tips will address critical aspects of grief events and lay out a logical process for moving forward.

Todays tip:  Acknowledge the deep sadness and fatigue you may be feeling.

Your mind and body can’t handle all that is happening to you. Find a quiet place to gently breathe life back into your soul.

These tips will be posted regularly to give you insight and clarity for the period of bereavement. A quiet time each day helps with focusing on the difficult task of mourning. Your grief is about you, not just the loved one you have lost.

Let me know how things are going. I encourage comments, questions, and just touching base. I wish you well.

Judy

 

 

Where Do I Go For Help?

November 2nd, 2012 by judytalks

Crisis and loss come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. The devastation that results from natural disasters is enormous, counting loss of life, property, and your sense of security.

Today it’s the East Coast, with the aftermath of Sandy. Tomorrow it may be in another part of the world. Regardless of location, this planet is mourning its losses every day. With or without warning, the human race takes a back seat to every kind of destructive act of nature.

Finding comfort when you need it most is difficult. In a disaster, numerous organizations rally to preserve life and property. When it’s safe to return, assessing your damage can be heart-rending. Personal property, those sentimental items so dear to you and to family, may lie amongst the debris, damaged beyond repair.

The job of the work crews is to get things up and running. When businessess, transportation, utilities, hospitals and the like get going again, it brings back a sense of normalcy. But no one is assigned to retrieving the lost personal items. Though these things seem irreplaceable, other family members, friends, or neighbors often have copies of pictures and memorabilia like those you lost. When you get yourself settled, contact everyone you can think of and ask for help. As items begin to surface, you can restore your memories in your treasure chest. It’s the beginning of healing.

Emotions are not usually reliable in a crisis, but contact with others and having them share memories with you is the beginning of hope, and pushes the fear and sadness away.

If you are grieving for any reason, stay in touch with those who love you and let them give comfort. Mourning takes time and energy. Take care of yourself.

Judy

When Bad Things Happen

July 24th, 2012 by judytalks

The recent shootings in Colorado leave everyone reeling and wondering why this happened. In fact, it happens all too often. Suddenly, twelve people are dead, leaving loved ones in shock and grief, with no answers and little understanding of how to mourn.

Comfort when you need it most is offered by those around you, but the healing process takes a long time. Emotions can change in a matter of seconds, and practical problems, such as planning a service and managing daily living, need attention. It’s too confusing, too much to bear, yet we power through and hope for the best.

I applaud those who mourn and extend my deepest sympathy. What friends can do is continue to stay close and, especially, to listen. Mourners need to talk. Help with the practical things, share your own feelings, and give feedback but not advice.

I wish you well.

Judy

A Lightbulb moment

March 3rd, 2012 by judytalks

I’ve been writing books, articles, and my blog for several years now, and it occurred to me that I’ve acquired an abundance of information on grief, loss, and living alone. Much of the information came from my own experiences, but many great ideas have been passed along from others who are in the same boat – living alone and trying to solve everyday problems.

Believing that sharing what you know is the best way to connect and comfort one another, I decided to start a group in the community where I live called Flying Solo. This wealth of problem-solving ideas and experience was meant to be passed along to the many individuals who struggle daily with all kinds of problems, from making a budget, fixing the plumbing, or just coping with loneliness.

I see the ripples my work has produced in print and on the internet, and I am pleased and eager to make ideas and support available in person. All kinds of connections are equally important, and will help grow the seed I planted – to bring awareness to the need for healing and new life following loss.

Check my blog for progress on this endeavor, and please continue to read my articles on www.ezinearticles.com, www.scribd.com, and www.article-niche.com. You can also fine me on www.authorsden.com to purchase a signed book.

Thank you to the many readers who leave kind, insightful comments and seek information on my website, www.survive-strong.com.

I wish you well,
Judy

Stop the Pain of Grief and Loss

October 4th, 2011 by judytalks

Today I’m using my blog space to announce an offer.

When you want to stop the pain of grief and loss, look for words you can trust.

Called “an essential checklist”, No Time to Grieve gives you comfort when you need it most.   For a limited time only, we’re offering No Time to Grieve at the special price of only $3.98 + shp & hndl. It’s the perfect gift to give yourself or someone you love. This offer is only good through Bookhouse Fulfillment. Use coupon code goodgrief at checkout to receive your discount. Click now to purchase: https://survive-strong.com/books-2/no-time-to-grieve/

 As we approach the Holidays, the need for comfort, insight, and support increase, dampening the spirit and undermining enjoyment of your most treasured celebrations. A lifeline can give you confidence, hope, and the support you need to begin to heal.

Give yourself the gift of comfort and get your copy of this award-winning book, written by a survivor.

Judy

Fresh Air

July 12th, 2011 by judytalks

A breath of fresh air is always welcome. It’s said to clear the head, stimulate different ideas, and open up new perspectives on difficult problems.

I’m breathing fresh air right now because I’m in the Twin Cities, enjoying family and friends and the beautiful MN. scenery.

I also have acquired a fresh approach to grief and loss issues. I’ve been writing on these subjects for several years now, volunteering as a grief facilitator, and talking with people of all ages about mourning and the healing process. As I looked over my accumulated material, gathered from my and other’s experiences, I recognized a theme.

When you begin to acknowledge and celebrate all the wonderful things about your loved one, places you’ve been, and the closeness you shared, you begin to breathe deeply again, taking in the fresh air around you. To embrace that irreplaceable time gives a boost to the healing process. Some of the sadness is replaced with joy and confidence. By putting your loved one to rest, you can rest, and clear your head for facing the future. Those treasured memories are a foundation that sustains you as you breathe new life into your world.

Wherever you are in your healing process, take a big gulp of air, clear your mind, and refresh your soul. Love never dies; people do. Survivors walk hand in hand with their treasured  keepsakes.

I wish you well,

Judy

A Time to Tweak

June 29th, 2011 by judytalks

Awhile ago I wrote about developing a marketing plan for my latest book. (see The Year of Magical Planning). For the most part, that plan has given me opportunities for reaching the grieving community with comfort and support. Recently, though, I’ve tweaked it to give myself larger chunks of time for covering the ongoing aspects of bereavement. Mourning doesn’t start and stop at fixed points. The papers I’m writing are posted on www.scribd.com under judywriting and will be continued in a series. These papers help you to manage the difficulties of grief, while taking care of your inner self. Many thanks to you who have already checked them out.

Taking joy in your work has to allow times for tweaking. A fresh approach, a new idea, or a newly discovered avenue for reaching your audience renews your spirit and keeps you on your toes.

Please visit my website, www. survive-strong.com for resources that offer you comfort and hope. I wish you well.

Judy

A Jog in the Road

June 10th, 2011 by judytalks

I’m slow to change and not a big risk taker. My habit is to take an idea through a rigorous test run of study, research, thought, and discussion with friends and family before embarking on projects. I used this strategy to forage into the world of epublishing. Not long after the publication of my first book, I submitted an article to EzineArticles to see what would happen. I wanted to present information on my subjects – grief and loss- in smaller, more focused pieces. I continued to write articles, submitting also to Article_Niche, but did so very gradually. Occasionally, I would check the stats to see how I was doing. Awhile ago I realized that I was getting a lot of hits.

Two things, in particular, struck me: People are looking for information on these subjects in greater numbers than I thought, and I could reach people with just what they needed to know in a short, concise article.

I have seen the jog in the road, and decided to take it. Whereas I intended to devote most of my time to writing books and publishing with my excellent publisher, I have begun to split that time to include larger chunks for writing articles and short papers that deliver answers and content that meet specific, immediate needs.

I discovered Scribd through a handout at a Book Fair and have posted two free pieces. I also plan to give Kindle a good look. Sometimes the jog in the road turns out to have remarkable potential.

Happy weekend.
Judy

Comfort When You Need It Most

May 10th, 2011 by judytalks

Mother’s Day was last Sunday, a holiday I used to share with the opening day of fishing when I lived in Minnesota. My late husband was an avid fisherman and, as we had a cabin on a lake, itched to start fishing every year. Whoever declared Opening Day of Fishing to fall on the same day as Mother’s Day is beyond me, but I usually told him to “just go, have fun, and bring home dinner.”

He’s been gone for twenty years, but I still have a hard time thinking of how to celebrate being a mother on the first Saturday in May, so this year we spent the day putting on our solar screens. I live in Arizona now and it seemed like the right time.

Sometimes things just present themselves at an opportune time and it seems wise to go along with it. My last post mentioned my endeavor to maintain balance in my work and my life. It’s slowly taking shape and I’m relaxing with a more focused view and more realistic approach to what is truly meaningful and how to best help others with their grief and loss needs.

I discovered a good website for posting short papers (and other writings) and have begun a series of papers that address the troublesome aspects of loss and healing. If you are in need today, or know someone who is, please check out my first paper on www.scribd.com and look for The Deep Impact of Loss. It’s a simple, clear guide, written from experience.

I wish you well.

Judy

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