July 30, 2021
Text Size
make text smaller make text larger

From surviving to thriving

July 15th, 2014 by judytalks

Can  you remember the last time someone in your family died? Perhaps you were a child whose elderly great-uncle died, or maybe someone young was tragically killed in an accident. Consider for a few minutes where comfort came from. Who reached out to you, to your family?

Surviving the loss of a loved one is very difficult and very personal. To begin to move toward healing and a sense of yourself as a thriving person requires an understanding of what has happened to you, not just your loved one.

Where do we go for the death education we never got? There are many resources available today that weren’t around 20 years ago. The internet is an ideal place for up-to-date resources. Books, articles, e-books, groups, camps, professional counselors, and faith-based spiritual centers are in touch with the needs of grievers.

For my part, I have just published an e-book on Kindle, titled From Surviving to Thriving  Finding Comfort Following Loss. Based on personal experience, and research from the professional community, this e-book gives comfort, support, and clear directives for processing your grief. It takes time to manage the pain and begin to move forward.  As you walk through this difficult time in life, you will become aware  of the resources already inside you.  Emerging whole and confident allows you to begin to visualize a new life built on memories and a clear sense of who you can become.

I wish you well,

Judy

For my Kindle books:  www.amazon.com/author/judystrong

Book Marketing Challenge

June 6th, 2014 by judytalks

Judy Strong  Learn Plan Act!

I’m here to say that this has been inspiring and motivating. The marketing tool I believe will be the most beneficial to me right now is teleseminars. As a grief facilitator, I like to work directly with people. Face to face or by phone gives me an opportunity to get to know them and for them to see who I am. Helping others with change and loss means building trust, and I think the teleseminars will work beautifully. I can deliver information, answer questions, clarify meaning, and generally relate and interact with people, as they share their individual needs and concerns. It was very encouraging to me to hear so many interviewees say that they were scared, had small lists, and began on a shoestring. I can relate to all of that. Just getting out there, I believe, is the way to start, and I think my audience will benefit from the experience of the teleseminar as we address their issues. The variety of ways to do teleseminars is also a huge advantage. By phone, by webcam, with slides, or whatever you choose, the follow-up options are exceptional. Being able to send a transcript or audio reinforces the whole experience, and I’m especially interested in doing e-reports and e-books to further my business and offer more to my audience. Grief work takes time, and it’s always my hope that people I meet or who read my books will stay in touch. Offering a chance to get together on the phone or webcam is a personal invitation to give comfort and support, throughout their bereavement and beyond. It’s establishing a sincere friendship.

I have published two print books. No Time to Grieve A Survivor’s Guide to Loss and Healing addresses both the emotional and practical issues associated with loss. It’s a primer that can be used by individuals, professionals, and groups.
My second book, A Child’s Grief Surviving the Death of a Parent, gives relevant information to those persons helping a child who has lost a parent. Seen through the eyes of 7-year old Johnnie and his mother, it emphasizes the need for comfort, truth-telling, and the consistency required for healing to take place.

My blog:  https://survive-strong.com/blog-2/?pg=blog
My website:  www.survive-strong.com
My e-books:  www.amazon.com/author/judystrong

Grief What does money have to do with it?

April 26th, 2014 by judytalks

The grief that engulfs a survivor pushes all thought of practical issues away. Nothing matters but the loss of the loved one. It’s unthinkable that one has to handle the budget, pay the bills, and buy the groceries. But unless one has no responsibilities in the practical side of everyday life, those issues have to be faced.

It isn’t fair that time and energy must be siphoned off from the important task of mourning. The grief process takes every ounce of energy you can muster. And when you just can’t think straight anymore, focusing on your cash flow and wondering how far the insurance will go seems trivial. But those who have lost someone can attest to the fact that money problems become apparent, sooner rather than later.

I have spoken with widows who thought there would be security “if anything happened”. Men have a habit of saying, “If anything happens to me, you’ll be fine.” Unfortunately, that usually isn’t true. When there are minor children involved, it can become especially frightening. Unless you know where the paperwork is, and what the circumstances are, you may find yourself making critical, but hasty decisions without knowing all your options.

In my own situation, I found myself scrambling to put my affairs in order. Because my husband didn’t have a will, and I had minor children at home, I had to go to probate court. I had no idea what resources were available, and the financial world, though helpful, has its own set of rules and methods for handling death benefits.

I began to write about grief a few years after my husband died. Along with the emotional and personal aspects of loss and bereavement, I also addressed the practical issues. I believed that if these were problems to me, they probably were to many others in the same circumstances. Knowing the simple facts of your situation can give you peace of mind, and also a sense of security that you need, whether you are alone or have children to care for.

My first book, No Time to Grieve A Survivor’s Guide to Loss and Healing, has chapters that explain the financial and legal issues you may face. Resource pages give you added information to guide your decision-making, as you move through the mourning process and gain your sense of independence. Two e-books on these subjects may be found on Kindle E-books. Getting Your Affairs In Order is a short outline that explains the procedure you may take before something happens, or after. It’s Your Money Take Charge of It is longer and clarifies some basic ideas about money and how to handle it wisely.

My books are found on my website, www.survive-strong.com.  The paperback books and the e-books can be accessed on my Amazon author’s page, www.amazon.com/author/judystrong along with my biography. Best of all, the paperback books, No time to Grieve and A Child’s Grief are often on sale. Understanding what you may need to do in the event of death and loss helps you to devote your time and energy to the essential task of grieving your loved one, while managing the practical issues that will keep you and your family afloat.

I’m so glad you are reading my blog. It’s designed to give comfort when you need it most, and information that will help you keep your feet on solid ground. There is a place for comments on my website. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Judy

A Look At Grief – When Life Stops

October 29th, 2012 by judytalks

When the life of someone you love stops, the part of your life that you shared with that person stops also. It’s abrupt and it’s painful. Suddenly everything changes because life as you knew it has stopped.
Does it matter whether there was time to prepare? Having your loved one in hospice care may give you the opportunity to talk about life, death, survivor concerns, and last wishes. But this isn’t always possible, or isn’t discussed. Talking about the past can take precedence over the present moment, often leaving survivors with no knowledge about the state of affairs they will have to handle.
Death education is almost never talked about in our society. We have a denial/dismissal attitude, preferring to believe that we’ll “cross that bridge when we come to it.” But, often, there is no warning, or the subject never comes up. The face of grief is more than emotional pain and confusion. Though deep sadness accompanies the death of a loved one, time and energy may have to be devoted to legal and financial issues, sometimes with little knowledge of the facts of the estate.
As a survivor, speaker, and grief facilitator, I have looked into the faces of many people of all ages who were overwhelmed with responsibility. Women, especially, are affected by financial issues, though men may be also. Men usually are not prepared to run a household or prepare meals.
Is there a reason we, as a society, can’t face the fact of death? Can we begin to educate ourselves as to the realities of loss and survivorship? Where did this come from, and how can we change it?
I’d like to make a difference in this aspect of life. As a survivor, my children and I know the pain of losing someone. With minor children and no will, I had to go to probate court. I needed a better job, and there weren’t the grief groups around then that there are now. But we can still do better.
Any ideas? Suggestions? Comments? Please email me. jstrong@survive-strong.com
Judy

Knowledge is Gold

July 8th, 2012 by judytalks

What is your approach to problem-solving? Do you gather information you may need ahead of time, just in case? Do you wait for a snafu and then ask people for advice? Or perhaps the time to deal with a calamity is when it happens and you tear your hair looking for answers.

Most of us come predisposed to follow one or another of these problem-solving methods. Whether or not there’s an ideal way is not the question; how you manage and get through the crisis is what’s important.

Accidents, critical illness and death strike when you least expect it. The devastation it causes to mind, body, and spirit makes gathering information more than difficult. You simply clutch at straws, unable to think straight anymore. That we manage at all is remarkable, but it’s not necessary to heap more distress and anxiety on ourselves.

Knowledge really is gold. Start to accumulate information on the effects of crisis, trauma, illness, and death that ultimately hit all of us. There is an abundance of books and articles on websites, social media, author and grief sites. Store up some gold for yourself to spend when you need comfort and support. And, while you’re at it, encourage those you love to do the same.

Judy

A Lightbulb moment

March 3rd, 2012 by judytalks

I’ve been writing books, articles, and my blog for several years now, and it occurred to me that I’ve acquired an abundance of information on grief, loss, and living alone. Much of the information came from my own experiences, but many great ideas have been passed along from others who are in the same boat – living alone and trying to solve everyday problems.

Believing that sharing what you know is the best way to connect and comfort one another, I decided to start a group in the community where I live called Flying Solo. This wealth of problem-solving ideas and experience was meant to be passed along to the many individuals who struggle daily with all kinds of problems, from making a budget, fixing the plumbing, or just coping with loneliness.

I see the ripples my work has produced in print and on the internet, and I am pleased and eager to make ideas and support available in person. All kinds of connections are equally important, and will help grow the seed I planted – to bring awareness to the need for healing and new life following loss.

Check my blog for progress on this endeavor, and please continue to read my articles on www.ezinearticles.com, www.scribd.com, and www.article-niche.com. You can also fine me on www.authorsden.com to purchase a signed book.

Thank you to the many readers who leave kind, insightful comments and seek information on my website, www.survive-strong.com.

I wish you well,
Judy

The Year In Review

January 11th, 2012 by judytalks

I looked back over my posts of the past year and realized I set some important goals, particularly about learning and giving more. I have certainly learned much in 2011, not just about the grieving community, but about managing loss in whatever size and shape it appears.

Loss and change are household words for almost everyone. They characterized America, challenged problem-solving skills, and drove fear into the hearts of all ages.

My family was certainly not spared, but we have not only survived, but begun to thrive in some important areas of life. No, no one’s making a lot of money, but we supported, commiserated, and advised one another as the economic axe fell a few times.

I’m old enough to know that life’s a bumpy road, so you better have a strong stomach. What inspires me is the growth of neighborliness, the determination to reinvent the wheel, and the charm of people laughing at what is clearly a headache in their daily lives.

I wrote a great deal in 2011, including Kindle downloads, articles, blog posts, and outlines for more of the same. The grieving community is looking for information to understand and ease the pain of losses of all kinds. I hope to continue meeting those needs.

Learn More Write More Give More
It connects and fulfills.

To a satisfying New Year,
Judy

Season of Holidays

November 8th, 2011 by judytalks

Summer blazed out of Arizona in a day, and brisk autumn was upon us the next. The cold, crisp air is refreshing to me, a native midwesterner, but I prefer to have the seasons merge more slowly, so I can get used to different temperatures.

With autumn comes the Season of  Holidays, celebrations of a wide variety, and all having their respective traditions, from costumes and candy to the spiritual traditions from different faiths.

A common tradition of most holidays is gift giving. In the purest sense, this is a sincere offering to someone important in your life, as a gesture of love and friendship. As we all know, however, the giving of gifts can become a mad rush to buy things for everyone and anyone, often the only real expression of the keeping of the holiday.

The difficult economic problems may actually have a positive influence this holiday season. Handmade gifts, or better yet, the gift of yourself in time spent with or for another can be a blessing, and may even become a tradition. The possibilities are endless for helping someone, and exchanging gifts of helpfulness can start or deepen a friendship.

The origin of most gift giving traditions for celebrating a holiday was about simplicity and goodwill. Our whole country needs large doses of goodwill right now. Let’s all make this the most joyous Season of Holidays ever.

Judy

It’s a Wrap

September 1st, 2011 by judytalks

I’ve just about finished formatting my first ebook. Whew! For someone who remembers home milk delivery, it’s quite an accomplishment. I think I’ve read through the instructions at least four times, but now I’m looking forward to uploading an image for the cover and sending it off.

My book is about managing your money, a departure from my usual topics of grief and loss. However, the enormous numbers and varieties of loss we’ve experienced have prompted me to address financial security. The loss of anything dear to you causes grief and there is a sense of mourning that takes place. I’ve had material on this subject in my computer for quite awhile and it seemed like a good time to develop a clear theme and offer it as a practical guide.

It’s always satisfying to complete a project. Most of mine become labor intensive because I’m continually doing research, in case I missed something. This topic, everyday money management, had me looking at papers, articles, and books from both men and women in several fields. Business owners, financial planners, money gurus, and social commentators have all shed light on the what and why of good planning, especially for women. When I lost my husband, with three children living at home, I had to learn quickly how to earn for the present and secure for the future. Experience is, indeed, the best teacher.

Wrapping up my first digital project lets me breathe a sigh of relief – until the next project. I think I’ve mastered most of the essentials, but there’s always “try, try again” if you don’t succeed the first time. I also know when to call the grandchildren.

Wishing you well,

Judy

A Time to Tweak

June 29th, 2011 by judytalks

Awhile ago I wrote about developing a marketing plan for my latest book. (see The Year of Magical Planning). For the most part, that plan has given me opportunities for reaching the grieving community with comfort and support. Recently, though, I’ve tweaked it to give myself larger chunks of time for covering the ongoing aspects of bereavement. Mourning doesn’t start and stop at fixed points. The papers I’m writing are posted on www.scribd.com under judywriting and will be continued in a series. These papers help you to manage the difficulties of grief, while taking care of your inner self. Many thanks to you who have already checked them out.

Taking joy in your work has to allow times for tweaking. A fresh approach, a new idea, or a newly discovered avenue for reaching your audience renews your spirit and keeps you on your toes.

Please visit my website, www. survive-strong.com for resources that offer you comfort and hope. I wish you well.

Judy

Request a Presentation

Ideal for:

  • Assisted Living Facilities
  • Adult Recreation or Senior Centers
  • Hospital or Hospice Support Groups
  • Funeral Director Associations
  • Corporate Human Resources Depts
  • Social Service Agencies
  • Libraries or Estate Planners

To schedule Judy for a presentation, fill in the short form below so that we can contact you:

Company/Organization:
Name:*
Your Email:*
Your Phone:*
Additional Information:
Contact Preference: