October 27, 2021
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Vacations Are For Clarity

August 15th, 2012 by judytalks

My vacation is nearly over and it has been wonderful. But I have to add one more reason to get away for awhile. Vacations are for reflection. Have you noticed how differently you think about things when you’re away from home? A change of scenery and experience and meeting new people is relaxing, and generates a different perspective.

I left on my adventure with ideas in my head about my various grief activities. My personal involvement has grown through group leadership and participation, while my writing has slowed down. My first thought was to reverse that situation. I changed my mind after I encountered people everywhere I visited who had a story to tell about loss.

Face to face sharing and personal response has no equal. The gift of listening is comfort itself, wrapped inside the support of a touch of the hand and a smile. There are incomparabe riches for both parties when you trust someone with your deepest emotions.

So, upon reflecting, I plan to enlarge my group involvement, while keeping up with the writing, also my passion. My heart is telling me to do this.

Happy rest of the summer,


Time to Reflect

May 31st, 2011 by judytalks

My quiet time has been a staple in my life for many years. Setting aside a designated time and place for unwinding and reflecting on what’s happening is food for my soul, and as necessary as food for the body. When I start to neglect it, I begin to starve.

May has always seemed to be the busiest month of the year, and this May has been no different. Commitments to wrap up, plans to make, problems to wrangle with and just daily living got me off my routine. And somehow when I neglect myself, I also lose track of the important people in my life. I disconnect.

I have a firm belief that we are all connected to one another in some way, but especially to those people we love. A disconnection has to be remedied immediately.

Reinstating my quiet time has restored my balance and allowed me to get back on track. My fuzzy focus is gone and I am prioritizing the things I really value.

My commitment to comfort and the grieving community is taking a new but solid approach with writing ideas and a positive spirit. My work with New Song has been uplifting and my plans for reaching more people are taking shape.

My mind works better when I clear out the cobwebs and delete the junk mail I’ve accumulated. Here’s to a better brain.


Comfort When You Need It Most

May 10th, 2011 by judytalks

Mother’s Day was last Sunday, a holiday I used to share with the opening day of fishing when I lived in Minnesota. My late husband was an avid fisherman and, as we had a cabin on a lake, itched to start fishing every year. Whoever declared Opening Day of Fishing to fall on the same day as Mother’s Day is beyond me, but I usually told him to “just go, have fun, and bring home dinner.”

He’s been gone for twenty years, but I still have a hard time thinking of how to celebrate being a mother on the first Saturday in May, so this year we spent the day putting on our solar screens. I live in Arizona now and it seemed like the right time.

Sometimes things just present themselves at an opportune time and it seems wise to go along with it. My last post mentioned my endeavor to maintain balance in my work and my life. It’s slowly taking shape and I’m relaxing with a more focused view and more realistic approach to what is truly meaningful and how to best help others with their grief and loss needs.

I discovered a good website for posting short papers (and other writings) and have begun a series of papers that address the troublesome aspects of loss and healing. If you are in need today, or know someone who is, please check out my first paper on www.scribd.com and look for The Deep Impact of Loss. It’s a simple, clear guide, written from experience.

I wish you well.


The Learning Curve

June 27th, 2009 by judytalks

I’ve been to book marketing school for many months now, and feel I may never graduate. Classes are right here in my tiny office, usually on my computer, but sometimes in books, and occasionally outside in the form of groups and classes sponsored by others. Since I am an author, I realized I needed to gather as much information as I could to market and sell my books. Most authors aren’t good at this part of the process. The one saving element is that I love to learn, and so I approached it with my usual gung ho attitude. Imagine my surprise when I actually began to see some patterns and threads and the whole thing started to make sense.
Here’s what I’m learning: media attention, branding, social networking, personal appearances, radio interviews, website presentation, business management, I could go on and on, but the learning curve has affirmed one thing I’ve always known about education: You’re better going out than when you started. I’m still not crazy about the subject matter, but I see its relevance.
My writing subjects, as you may know, are grief, loss, and recovery. My book, A Child’s Grief Surviving the Death of a Parent will be out sometime this fall. currently, I’m reading Joan Didion’s excellent book, The Year of Magical Thinking. Now that makes complete sense to me. My magical thinking often creeps up on me when I least expect it. As I’ve said many times, “Grief doesn’t go away. We come to terms with it.”
Happy end of June,

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